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THAT'S ENOUGH!

Can't remember when was the last time I cried.  My tears started welling up last night on the train on my way home.  Had just read the email from editor and she said I had written badly.  She was taken aback by my sub-standard writing.  She also alleged that I just wanted to hand in the story without giving much thought to it.

I felt aggrieved.  I felt useless.

Never been a confident person.  This dealt a huge blow to my already fragile ego.  When I reached home, I went to bed without dinner.  Didn't want to do anything except bury my head under the pillow and cry. 

Come to think of it.  This might be a blessing in disguise.  Been deceiving myself that I could go on in this job.  But I can't.  I am not even a good writer.  Diligence, perhaps, will never make up for the lack of flair for writing. 

And this incident has made me become more aware of my insecurities of being tethered to the job because I know nothing, no skills, no experience and not employable.

I must look at this problem seriously now.   It has awaken me.   
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